Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Just puked most of my soul out..
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