I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
