i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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