I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
3 2 1 whiskey
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
