i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
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