Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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