I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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