Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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