no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Randomize
