Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
