Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize
