I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Randomize
