his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
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