Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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