take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
