I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
