i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
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