his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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