I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
