fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
