how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
