We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
