Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Randomize
