So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I'm just crazy horny about you
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
is that a dick in a sweater?
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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