I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
