I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
