i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
