Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Randomize
