He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
