We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Randomize
