we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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