i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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