I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
that may or may not have been my penis.
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