dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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