i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
