I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
