it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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