my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
