All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
