your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
