How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
