I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
