So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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