grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
