i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
