Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
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