i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
