Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Randomize
