Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
