How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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