butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
