i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
you will always have a special place in my vag
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
