Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
