Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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