I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I am mentally ready for anal.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
